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Wednesday 4 September 2013

Alfie's 100 Word Challenge - Week 1

I left the Kayak, heading inland towards the sacred temple of Ramses II. Creeping silently towards the cave where the entrance was hidden, I looked into the pitch blackness, suddenly I heard a crack. I quickly span around to see a tribe of warriors charging, cursing me in foreign languages. I ran like the wind, they were blocking my way to the kayak. I ran further and further into he forest. Suddenly I heard the flowing of water, and I quickly changed direction to the sound. There I was, standing on the banks of the river, I was trapped, they came closer, closer and closer.....
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14 comments:

  1. Maple Class4 September 2013 at 09:59

    Great writing Alfie. I can spot the place where you began a sentence with a verb and and adverb. Just check where you might want to use a full stop instead of a comma in places. You have super ideas using some great vocabulary. Perhaps now begin to work on a range of punctuation in your work.
    Mrs Prior

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  2. Alex5 September 2013 at 03:55

    Really cool story Alfie i really liked the cliff hanging end, GREAT STORY

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  3. Natasha5 September 2013 at 03:56

    well done Alfie great story i like the bit where he
    ran into the cave with people chasing him!

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  4. Beth :D5 September 2013 at 03:59

    Wow that's really good story! But where was he heading on the kayak at the start of the story! I really liked the bit that said:... I was trapped,they came closer, closer and closer.....
    Beth :D

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  5. Katie :)5 September 2013 at 04:03

    WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!! Good story. I like the ending i was trapped, they came closer closer, closer. :D

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  6. Bella5 September 2013 at 04:06

    Well done 10/10 !!!!!!

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  7. lucie5 September 2013 at 09:39

    WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME WANT TO KNOW!!!

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  8. Bethan5 September 2013 at 23:58

    Great 100wc, I like the end, they came closer, closer, closer...
    Great cliff hanger!!

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  9. Nicola (Team 100WC)8 September 2013 at 03:07

    What a thriller of a story Alfie! I particularly liked how you left us all in suspense at the end. A great 100WC. Well done.
    Nicola (Team 100WC)

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  10. Anonymous8 September 2013 at 07:48

    Great writing, Alfie.
    Well constructed and built up, leading to a great cliffhanger.
    Lots of great details and sentence starts.

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  11. ITS ME LOUIS!13 September 2013 at 06:45

    great work Alfie from Louis

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  12. Reuben13 September 2013 at 06:46

    Hi Alfie A-MA-ZING story!!! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!

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  13. JC13 September 2013 at 06:47

    i LOVE this story WOOOOOOOOW i need to know what happens next you should a sequel to it ARGH. You need to write a sequel it would be brill.

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  14. Sam G15 September 2013 at 03:31

    Wowa! Spooky ending. I felt like I was there myself, very good detail and description.

    Sam G Y7

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