Pushing through the earth Frankie came bursting out leaving mud to fly everywhere and then one hit my nose. Bam. I was knocked out. When I woke I heard noises faintly. As I got less dizzy I knew it was Frankie. He had found us.
I eyed the room like a hawk trying to seek a way out. Suddenly a cackling, low laugh rose from behind me and bounced off the walls echoing violently. I quickly tuched the AMOS diamond necklace under my shirt and zipped up my jumper.
He was stood in front of me with two strong men behind him - one holding Frankie, worried and scared, cold and tired, I tried to figure a plan to get out of it...
I love your story i love how you get knocked out all your story are grate. car't wait to read your next story Hannah
ReplyDeleteI told you this would go on the blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a really good story keep doing amazing story's like this! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story Georgia. I love where you touched the diamond and zipped up your jumper, showing the reader what must be going through your mind without telling. Great simile of the hawk at the beginning too.
ReplyDeleteJust one thing - check your last sentence. Do you think you need an extra full stop in there somewhere?
Well done on an excellent piece of writing this week.
Well done GG- wish I could find out what happens next!
ReplyDeleteMum
This is a great story for your 100wc entry Georgia. Your writing is really creative using great description and vocabulary choices.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite part is 'I eyed the room like a hawk trying to seek a way out' - fantastic!!
Well done!
Miss Brogan (TEAM100WC)